just plain cruel

i'm sure you've all seen those scenes in movies and whatnot where the protagonist is already in a miserable condition where everything seems to go wrong and then in the middle of the journey home, the rain starts to pour. you get the camera zooming in as the needles of rain continue to pelt the protagonist and the scene fades to black to the wailing of "why meeeee...." as the protagonist throws arms up and collapses on the knees.

that was me today. well, not as dramatically as that but there were at least more than a dozen cells that played the miserable protagonist today. especially the ones in my heart. they sank to a new low. personally, i think that's a pretty reasonable reaction to getting a cryptic msg on the voicemail telling you there's been a problem with you intern application and to please call back.

call back, i did. it's nice to be told that because of when i graduate, i was technically not able to start more than 1 term after my intended mid-year starting date with the rest of the guys. because of that, i was technically not eligible to apply for a hospital allocation in the first place. as a reward for my honesty in stating that, and to make up for their administrative error, the allocation people are allowing me to start anyway. the catch is that the hospital would prolly push for me to start in january 2008. the reasons were:

1. lack of support in a new environment (fair 'nuff, but they haven't met me yet so that's an assumption on their part, no?)
2. the consultants will think i've already done 4 terms and expect more, putting me in more stress than necessary (like anj said.. you think i don't have a mouth to tell them i'm a mid-year graduate??)
3. you can't get the paperwork done in time (told them i could gather everything needed.. like criminal record checks, certified documents etc.. so that the application for a new visa will be ready to go. as for registration with medical board, the forms are due next friday so all they gotta do is say ok. it's not like they wouldn't have processed it by august. the lady didn't get how i could prepare for something if i wasn't eligible ie. "but u can't apply for ur visa yet beacuse you're not registered so you can't prepare for it!" eh??)

i don't see what the fuss is about. all that crap about support, about paperwork. excuses i tell you. "why the hell should we lift a finger to help you? who do you think you are" attitude is what it is. in a way, there's more strength in numbers. i keep forgetting that i have to stop straying away from the herd. you know, like how the lame wildebeest straggling away is the one that becomes dinner to the hyenas? one would think that because it's just me, people would have less hassle making an exception compared to a group of fifteen. instead of 15 exams to grade, 15 sets of registration papers to fil and so on, there's only my set. apparently, that translates to "well, it's just one person, i'm too lazy to do it. they can join the main group next year" from faculty to governmental allocation units.

seriously. i don't know why i bother to stick it out when i have no ties with this bloody place. right now, i'm cursing more than that red light camera fine from 2 years back. much more.