*knock knock*

excuse me mister neighbor,
could i have a bit of your time
for i'd like to tell you,
you have a very horrible whine.

i can hear you through the common wall,
the one that shakes each night
from all that stomping you've been doing
with your gf when you fight.

excuse me mister neighbor,
i don't mean to be rude
when i bang against my bedroom wall,
i'm sorry i'm such a prude.

i can handle your banshee wailings,
i can handle your gf whining,
i can handle the door's constant slamming
but PUH-LEEZ, can you stop the stomping!

it's slowly driving me insane
like the lubdub of the tell-tale heart
except there's plenty of differences
my conscience is clear for a start.

both your tempers must be very short
or else there'd be less banging
let me clarify, i mean kitchen cupboards
just so nothing's left hanging o.0

i think by now, you should understand
what i'm trying to say
if you like being an elephant,
please save it for safari day

i hope you have the gift of empathy
so you'll know how it feels
to have your ceiling fixtures shudder
like when baby dumbo kneels.

if you are so unfortunate
to still not understand
i would gladly show you
by hiring a marching band.

i think by now that i'm truly rambling
so i better let you go.
i think i've taken too much of your time
but you'll still see me as friend, not foe.