as comfy as i'll ever be

some things were never meant to be said. like this

emotional rollercoasters aside, i'm ready for the weekend =) will be attending a camp of sorts in sydney for the next couple of days.. i try to ignore that the organization's got a religous slant. i guess growing up with a "weird" religion has made it hard to want any religious association at all. the other kids would give me blank stares or a "whatever!" look and religion has been quietly shoved under the carpet as discretely as possible in public. i've come as far as being comfy with telling people i lean towards buddhism in one way or another, depending on how they ask. sometimes, i get the "so you're christian right?" and other times, people assume that i'm an aethiest. my answers range from outright "no, buddhist" to "well actually.. sorta, but no." i get embarrassed, squirming away when people associate it with wads of incense, gaudy scary looking figures and noisy chanting ceremonies. that is so not what buddhism is about.

will's little quote on his bloggie nicely encompasses some of the fundamental ideas about buddhism.. it's more about letting go, about attaining happiness. the concept that nothing is permanent, that life is an illusion. something along those lines. unable to kick the habit of being nit-picky, i usually have a teeth-gnashingly devilish time picking out inconsistencies with buddhist principles mostly with my dad. that's as close to a proper conversation as i get with him.. and yes, i'm working on improving that. very. very. slowly. so.

so yeah, this camp thing... i guess it's kinda like world vision. they're a christian organization but they're known for their work rather than their religious foundation... at least in my mind. i don't immediately associate christianity with them. pictures of kids and the "sponsor a child" project spring into mind first. that's how it's like with tzu-chi. that's what this camp will be about.. "to promote environmental protection and community volunteering activities" according to the final camp details they sent out. personally, i'm hoping to network and meet new people outside the little med clique, to also see what other people have been doing to help out the community, to let me get out of my little padded cell here in newie for just a weekend. i was tentative about signing up but decided to throw caution to the winds. after all, had i not gone.. i would've spent my 4-day easter break vegging out at home and killing my eyes with excessive screen staring time and still wouldn't have gotten any work done anyway. so what the heck. sydney, here i come =) cya on monday and lotsa wishes for a safe and happy long weekend. ooo.. and watch out for the cops! i noe i'll be keeping a close eye on the speedometer tomorrow =)