9.10.2006

moonshine



back from a weekend in sydney with the parents ~ they'll be leaving tomorrow for taiwan and i've got unfounded baby nigglies about them being anywhere near airports tomorrow considering the date and australia's current popularity with the generic terrorist. most likely unnecessary but it wouldn't hurt to keep my fingers crossed til tuesday.

the break was a much needed one although it wasn't ideal. i've let loose a mini torrent of whinges upon anj that would've rivaled the rains that flooded the area throughout the weekend if i had the chance to talk to her every night. there were nice moments filled with warm fuzzies scattered throughout the six days i spent with my parents.. never would i have dreamed of watching the knights vs sea eagles on tv with my dad and having a ball rooting for newie knights, let alone watch it with my mom *gasp* you heard right. my mom watched a whole game of rugby with us.. the same person who has no patience to sit through movies and just wants to know how movies end. the one that fast fowards past huge segments of anything on video because there's too much talking/fighting/music/silence/plotting happening. i think i saw a pink squealer flap past our hotel window that night..

came back up to newie tonight with mixed feelings. there is still so much that can be done in terms of salvaging my academic timetabling fiasco, yet i'm so worn out by the past 2 months that i feel nauseaous planning ahead, knowing fully well there's a possibility of getting shot down anywhere and anytime by red tape and politics. sometimes i wonder if i should just let things be, start internship in 2008 and use the extra 3 months i have to gain extra experience, undertake overseas placements and mebbe even study/take the usmle.

i've got everything i could want in the material world (well, i wouldn't mind a few extra things but really, if i was to die this second, i'd die feeling contented). emotionally, even the blind could see that i've got plenty of love and support from friends and family alike. yet.. i still have this awful nigglie know at the pit of my tummy. it's easy to plan ahead but it's hard to invest any faith in future plans now. this would be one of those times where i prop myself against the windowsill and let my eyes glaze over as i stare out as far into the sunset as i can, hoping that my prince charming will emerge from the shadows and sweep me off to his castle.

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