talking to the blue fairy

i'm not a full fldeged one yet, but the blue fairy was nice enough to let me don on some of her old robes for a little while throughout my surgical rotation. sometimes i feel like meredith grey. sometimes, i feel like my registrar's equal...if not my consultant's.

today was one of those days when i felt like i belonged. tired from starting at 7am and ending at 4, but at home nevertheless. i got to assist in a laporoscopic cholecystectomy. no, not assist like holding the retractor. i mean assist like being in the role of a registrar. yesterday, i was just one of the two med students standing around the operating theater tilting my head to the right along with everyone else as the surgeon and her registrar navigated pincers, clips and the camera on a stick. i don't know about anyone else but the usually mild mannered and very accomodating surgeon was starting to get frustrated. u could tell from her clipped tones and curt commands. i was getting seasick from the twirling camera view.

it didn't help that i nearly fainted twice in less than 2 hours before that ~ i put it to lack of breakfast + sleep. now i can truthfully tell patients "i know how awful that must've felt" the next time one of them tells me they fainted. cold chills slowly creeping up from toes to head, culminating in a cold sweat. nausea slowly swelling into the inevitable urge to chuck. your field of vision slowly bleaching into a blanket of white light... *shudders* it's no fun, i tell u!

i digress. that was yesterday. today, my registrar was in the position of the surgeon. i was the one handling the camera, just like the other registrar i watched yesterday. man, what an ego boost to be repeatedly thanked and praised by the registrar for "good camera work!" and for assisting.. to be praised-by-default when the consultant praises the registrar for a very good operation! i'm not a real surgeon yet, but at least i got to go on a nice stroll with the blue fairy today =)

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