blown away

What a day today has been
It is my destiny as I have been
I had to get at the Crowne g'day
You can meeting the press my you are
David
There's no point in continuing
Send a direct let you know get it right
Oh no
You have to get any of it and I get out

----

So much for trying to dictate through the Tab..
Let's try again, with fingers on a solid keyboard this time. The gibberish above translates to:

What a day today has been
It's one of the shittiest I have seen
I had to get up at the crack of dawn
To attend my meeting and suppress my yawn.

Oh this is hopeless
There's no point in continuing
Oh, so now you get it right
Or not.
I'm gonna have to continue this at home.

-----

So..
I get home after the meeting
I manage to fit in some shopping even - yay Ikea!
I plod off to work, sleepy
The radio warns of gale force winds up to 100km/hr today
*shrug*
So I drive along and wonder why traffic is especially bad
Things start to click when I encounter about 4 -5 different fire trucks, sirens blazing, during my commute
The radio was reporting havoc throughout Sydney, with a school having to be evacuated because its roof had been blown away.
Then I hit the hill leading up to the hospital and there's traffic.
Something clicked again. Oh no..
Could it be..
!@#$%$@$%
Of all the schools, it had to be the one right next to the hospital.
Of all the intersections they could block, it had to be the choke point where beyond that, there was only one way in and out of the hospital.
The policewoman didn't care that I worked at the hospital.
I should've said I was a DOCTOR and ask if she would take responsibility for poor patient care by not letting me pass. DAMN. My one and only chance to flaunt it and I missed it.
She couldn't care less and made me park down a side road somewhere and said I would just have to walk up the hill to the hospital. Because it wasn't safe to drive, she said.
So I was lucky enough to find a parking spot because the rest of the world was looking for one too. And then I got out of the car and walked. In gale force winds. In rain pouring down sideways because of the wind. With debris. Making my eyes bloodshot and watery. Hard to walk straight. Nearly blew me away. Hard enough as it is without the painful eyes. But with my luck, I had the painful eyes to deal with too. Was basically walking blindly up the road to the hospital, head ducked down, one hand on my hood to keep it from blowing off.
I looked like I had come from a heavy duty session of serious crying by the time I reached the hospital.
I think I would've been a lot safer INSIDE my car than unprotected and walking along the pavement if the winds were blowing and they were worried about injuries from flying debris. Especially when they were still trying to tack remaining roof back on at the school at that stage.
So I get into ED.
Funny how the boys avoided eye contact even though they were in my line of sight. Funny how they suddenly veered off to my right or left. WTF?! Can't deal with a girl who's been crying?
The clincher was that one of them decided to ignore the "crying" completely and proceeded to tell me about his patient he wanted me to review.
I was cranky by then. That didn't help. So I snapped that I already knew about his patient, hence my presence in ED in the first place and that yes, I know about the other patient too but could he please let me at least put my bag down and get the crap outta my eyes first before he continues? Geez.
I still had fluid pouring outta my eyes and was non-stop sniffling throughout his monologue. Guess it wasn't obvious.
Saline did the trick. Eyes better. Bloodshot though. Stupid hard contact lenses. At least I could see again without searing pain shooting through the eyeballs everytime I blinked. Was still sniffling. Went to see a patient. Was happy I had a plan. Was typing it on the computer. THE POWER WENT OUT. !@#$#!#$%#
Lost my progress notes. Computers were rebooting. Mine remained dead. Couldn't be bothered to reboot. Scribbled on paper. Should've stayed with paper I tell you. All this computerized notes stuff is clunky, time-consuming and useless during natural disasters.. when hospitals tend to be busiest. Go figure.
Anyway, the misadventures continue.
The ultrasound machine got killed during the power outage - wasn't hooked to the backup generator and we think the power surge killed it. Fingers crossed for the CT machine. All theater cases except absolute life-threatening emergencies were cancelled for the rest of the day.
I went to catch up with my intern. Put it out there straight up that I was cranky and summarized what had happened, be snappy with the handover. Halfway through, she stopped and asked if I ok because she realized I was sniffling every few seconds. WTF?! What on earth did she think I was telling her right at the beginning?!
Eventually got through the day and got home in one piece.
Now, time for bed so I can face the backlog of cancelled cases in theaters tomorrow.. *Groan*

Tabitha

A certain author has irked me for a while now. Let's call her Tabitha. It didn't start out that way. I didn't even know who Tabitha was.  I was perplexed at the popularity of her books, but assumed that I needed to get with the times. Personally, I prefer tales like a Wrinkle in Time, adventures by Neil Gaiman, stories about Ramona Quimby's adventures, explore with Roald Dahl, tag along with Pippi Longstocking and Curious George and ride on the Magic Schoolbus. There were places to see and things to do with Oliver Twist and Atticus Finch, and fights to win at Watership Down. There were the Witch of Blackbird Pond and the Call of the Wild, as well as the Wind in the Willows to discover. And then there was Dr Seuss! I could go on and on and on about the stories I read as a kid that I thought were on par, if not better, than the adventures Tabitha concocted. So back to my point.. I didn't see what the fuss was about.

I didn't have anything against Tabitha for dreaming up the tales she did. They're nice. Good for her. Great job in making it big. Am all for the underdogs. I'm more mortified that everyone else in the world thinks they're marvelous, like nothing else could compare. That these stories for God's gift to man. Something along those lines. Not surprisingly, with increased fame came the inflated ego. Tabitha still portrayed an image of a caring, nurturing, rags to riches "I was one of you" type of people after earning millions. That's nice of her. Thank you, I think. Sitting there amongst a band of "lucky" kids that got a chance to meet her in real life and be read to. Why would you even do anything that had the tiniest hint of inequality, given your hard past Tabitha?? Why would you want to encourage feelings of jealousy and envy amongst those kids that didn't get to meet you in real life? You cannot honestly tell me that with the level of fame and popularity you've garnered, that you didn't consider that a kid might feel left out? You, of all people, should remember what it was like to be an outcastt, to look and long, to envy.. and how painful that would have been. Or have you so quickly forgotten as the millions rolling in and the constant fawning of the media distract you?

Then came the stories of wanting more and more control. Attempting to sue another author who had written a book with a similar theme and protagonist.. many years before Tabitha got her story published. Demanding that public libraries remove copies of her stories from their shelves because everything had to tie in with the promotional schedule and a highly publicized launch. What will be next.. demanding that the Queen curtsies before speaking to her? What is this I hear of building playthings that cost more than a hundred thousand dollars.. so much for humble roots. What about giving back to charity, or to those on the streets or on dole with the same amount spent on things that are essentially there to evoke a fleeting moment of joy before the kids outgrow them, but mostly to stir envy and admiration?

And my parting shot... if Tabitha is such a great author, one who not only has an extraordinary command of her imagination, but of the English language so that her thoughts can be conveyed, then why is she still making very basic mistakes like substituting unconscious for subconscious (you will find this on her website as she describes how some real life memories served as inspirations for her stories, and how she must have unconsciously [sic] woven them into her books). How did such a thing get past the proof-readers?! Tell me why, again, why you all think she's the greatest author in the world?

o.0

Came across this patient late one night this past week. She was mere hours after having an anesthetic for her 2-hour elbow operation. She was 94 years old. Standing at the foot of her bed. With the hospital light dimly shining from one side, highlighting all those nooks and crannies. Had to do a double take.
Couldn't help but share the awkwardness...

Makes me so mad!! 

The idiot is still parked there.

I can't physically get out of the car after parking it.

Even parking's tricky, depending on the dark green car to the left.

If they've parked too close to my space, that's it.

Can't get in at all.

The idiot owner of the silver car hasn't moved it.

Still there.

They are either away, or are choosing to ignore. 

Either way, still makes me mad. 

Inconsiderate pricks. 

Any suggestions to resolve this are welcome!! 

 Have tried writing a note to them. 

The Hubbs has toned it down for me.. by a LOT. 

Said it was too angry. 

I thought it was fine. 

Maybe a tad passive-aggressive in suggesting that they risked damage to their car with it parked like that. 

Hmm. 

It's been 2 days and am still parking the chooqmobile streetside. 

So unnecessary. 

The strata's useless. 

 Called them just after 5pm, got diverted to some afterhours office of theirs. 

The lady said I should've called back during business hours. 

No shit, Sherlock.

I would've if I could've but I don't know that the car's still in my spot until I arrive home from work. 

Which is after WORK hours, no? 

D'oh. 

 Idiots. 

Too many idiots. 

*mutters and wanders off to chomp on some chocolate as a distraction* =(

random snippets on a rainy april afternoon

• the chooqmobile has been upgraded
• for someone with a new car, i feel awfully guilty. especially so when i saw the old chooq at the dealership in the used car section waiting for a new owner =( especially more so when i saw them come at the old chooq with a screwdriver to erase its identity and replace the number plates with a generic one =(( *pouts*
• the new chooqmobile is still settling in
• got a new neighbor who unfortunately knows neither how to take care of their car (it's got matte, lackluster paint on the body with a huge dent to one side) nor how to park (their car juts so much into my space, the new chooqmobile had to park streetside for the past 2 days *GRRRR*)
• the surgical colleague of mine is still a dickhead
• i still can't make up my mind about my ortho colleague - he's too inconsistent at the moment. when he's good, he's awesome. when his heart's not into it, he's awesomely awful.
• there is never a lack of idiots to fill the hospital waiting rooms
• one idiot got told by two registrars at different times how smoking would affect bone/wound healing.. and as the second registrar turned to leave the room promptly asked if he could step out of the department to have a cigarette..
• another got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to climb onto his friend's back to reach the roof. don't know what was on the roof but whatever it was better be worth the off-ended broken wrist he got that required plate and screws
• is getting very sick of hearing the tune that accompanies "i've got the moves like jagger, i've got the moo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooves like jagger" on the radio
• is very pleased with the pot of herbs and the tiny tomatoes that are sprouting from a very under-loved balcony pot-plant colony i've had trouble attending to consistently

 and that is all..

for now ;)

Stop it, Stop Killing Me

A couple of stressful weeks have passed.
Survived.
At times, barely.

Thought I was getting over it all
And then my intern drives the stake in a bit more, then twists it.

My neck of femur fracture lady from friday..
non-english speaking, complained of pain yesterday evening.
my intern wasn't sure where tho the patient pointed to her chest
Didn't think it was a heart attack but it crossed his mind. Did relevant tests.. BUT DIDNT !@$@$## chase up the results. Called up medical registrar for advice.
Repeated blood tests today. Troponins came back even more elevated than yesterday's

I asked 'em to do an ECG
Listened to the patient's chest.
Overloaded. Crackles galore. It was like a symphony made up of pre-schoolers in there.
Chest xrays showed fluid, possibly infection
THE ECG HAD INVERTED T-WAVES.. like the one from yesterday evening did. It wasn't picked up at that stage. I WAS ON-SITE AND HE KNEW I WAS WORKING. WHY ON EARTH WAS I NOT CALLED ABOUT MY PATIENT WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN HAVING A HEART ATTACK AT THAT STAGE?! (you have no idea how pissed off I am at this whole thing. We're talking compromised patient care here..)

NOTHING was done. I got the shits and called up the med reg for today. She didn't even get called to see my patient. She was asked by HER resident to review this patient, because MY intern had conveyed the message through him. She didn't know how sick this lady was at all.

Now, my lady is getting worse. Trops are triple the amount from this afternoon. Requiring 8L oxygen to maintain reasonable sats. My colleague is on-site and on-duty until 9pm tonight and knows the events. WTF is my intern doing sending a text message to me at 6pm?! What exactly can I do for my patient off-site and why isn't he calling up the on-site registrar instead of texting?!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh.
He will not only be the death of me, but possibly of the patient and future ones if he keeps this up!

Now please help me find a way to tell him all this without blowing my top off as I tell him...

Ignorance is NOT bliss

Another one I have to get out of my system..
A complaint letter from a patient. We all knew it was coming. The patient had been deemed a pain in the butt. The nursing staff had warned me about how difficult it was to deal with said patient. There were two bits in the patient's complaint letter that irks the hell out of me. This patient is demanding and ignorant at the same time, leading to the formulation of some pretty stupid sounding complaints.

Like how the patient got moved out of ICU on a Sunday and wasn't seen for *gasp* two whole days!! Bullshit. An intern saw this patient on Monday. Yes, an intern. Fresh out of med school. A doctor nonetheless. I saw this patient Tuesday. Worked my butt off and didn't leave hospital until just past 2300h just to speak to this patient and address the concerns voiced. Then drove an hour's drive back to come back AND SEE THE SAME PATIENT AGAIN THE NEXT MORNING. So wtf is this complaint of this patient about? Doctors don't see all their patients daily over the weekend unless they are sick. Newsflash to ignorant-patient!

And the sarcastic bit about "are you confused, because I'm confused!" when I FINALLY clarified who her attending doctor was after two days of chasing down consultants and registrars and answered her bloody question. She gets her answer, then QUESTIONS IT?! WTF.

It's people like these that make me want to rant and rave and cuss at the world, and pad my already-unhealthy levels of cynicism.  Ungrateful ignorant bitch.

℞: A Cup of Concrete

Every so often, my ears perk up at a bit of news that floats through my bubble of a personal space and gets me all riled up for the wrong reasons. Like this little newsflash about how parents are deeming "fairy tales" a la Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers Grimm fame ...too scary, opting for "modern" stories instead.. whatever that means. SERIOUSLY?! For those parents out there with that perception, what do you have to say about "scary" modern stories such as.. hmm.. let's say, Harry Potter and all the seven books about his "adventures"? There's death, kidnappings, battles, and *gasp* magic in those stories. If Jack and the Beanstalk was considered inappropriate for the modern kiddo because it was "too unrealistic," then you all should really boycott the fiction section and let your kids watch National Geographic documentaries for bed instead. Wiat a second, scratch that thought. They might be too scary for your kids because they depict animals hunting other animals! Oh no. Or what about all those cartoons out there showing cutesy characters bashing each other on the head.. like the Tom and Jerry, or Wile E. Cyote vs the Roadrunner.. OR WHAT ABOUT THOSE FREAKISH TELETUBBIES?! Scary much? 'Nuff said.

Parents apparently deem classics like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and Little Red Riding Hood inappropriate for their precious coddled young because "dwarves" is simply inappropriate for the former, and they are uncomfortable explaining to their kids how the grandmother gets eaten by a wolf for the latter story. Man, these people should go read the original tales by the Brothers Grimm (go on, download it free off Amazon and read it off your Kindle!) and then come and complain that the sugarized, commercialized versions we know as "fairy tales" are pretty damn tame. There, I cussed. I suppose this entry, hell, this whole blog is now inappropriate for kids because it has scary bad words, oh my. Oops, I said two scary bad words.

Don't deny your childen the opportunity to figure out for themselves right from wrong, black from white, dark from light. Go ahead and deem fairy tales inappropriate and "too scary" (for reasons that will always baffle me), butt don't transfer those adult insecurities onto the children. Why can't these parents grow up a bit themselves and regale their children with fairy tales that spark the children's imagination. Yes the Snow Queen was freaking scary when I first read about her in my anthology of Hans Christian Anderson tales, but I figured out for myself at the age of seven that one, she wasn't REAL and even if she was, I had learnt what NOT to do from Kai and Gerda's mistakes. Yes, I was a little too overactive with my imagination at the time but if not then, then when? To those parents polled, if there are issues with the story, why not use the opportunity to use it as a teaching tool about life? Kidnappings too scary? Why not spin the tale around and ask the kids what THEY would do if they were Hansel or Gretel? Turn it into a "don't talk to strangers" and "be vigilant, stay close to mommy and daddy when we go out" talk.

Am very very appalled at how much society has changed. In my eyes, I think that with the mentality these parents have of "protecting" their kids, they're just coddling a generation of pushovers who will grow up so insulated from all things "bad" that they won't have the mental or emotional capacity to deal with life's lows that will surely come with life's highs. Seriously people.. in the words of a senior I once worked with, drink a cup of concrete and harden up!!

another month has quickly gone

and what a month it has been

 we're recovering slowly still from

all the things we have seen!

we scooted over an ocean or two

and saw some awesome views

we ignored all the fuss from new year's day

and blocked out the earthquake news

we readied our tummies

and pigged out in style

their goodies were yummier

by more than a mile!

sushi and tamago, 

sashimi and rice

sour calpis and yakult

served up with ice!

ramen and curries,

udon in broth,

tempura and sake

we felt like a sloth

temples and fire,

coin tossing with glee

museums and ghibli

there was so much to see!

'twas a pity when we had to leave

we pouted and whined

for we weren't quite done

there were so many one-of-a-kinds

but we eventually made it back

with both bags filled to the brim

and then i realized work was to start

things started looking a tad grim

things turned out a wee bit worse

for the other guy couldn't work

it meant i was working 24/7

that first week drove me beserk!

things have settled, now that he's back

 my workload's thankfully less

yet, things aren't quite settled

for i'm still feeling stressed

but everything's good, for this weekend, i'm off!

chillaxing is what i'll do

a brand new start excites me so

gotta feeling smiles will brew!