what goes up must come down

I had another bout of warm fuzzies straight afterwards. Why so, you ask? Why, I finally made it back to America after more than a decade!

Spent about 2 weeks there.. mostly in LA. Explains why this blog's been a tad quiet last month. Interspersed were mini-trips to my aunt's place in Orange County, a day trip back to the valley and a weekend in Philly/NY. Caught up with a few besties from elementary school and that was a treat.

I never realized how much I miss life in LA. People always ask if I'll end up back in the states after my stints in whatever country I happen to be in at the time and I always tell people that I can't see myself going back. I used to believe that going back would be meaningless because life as I knew it back then wouldn't be the same - my friends aren't there anymore and those that are would have hopefully moved way past the days of playing in our little dirt playground at Sierra (that doesn't exist anymore btw... it's now a horrible mass of concrete they call the parking lot). This trip highlighted the fact that yes, everyone's moved on but the fact that my old besties still have tons to yak about despite the years and years that's lapsed... wow, that was a warm fuzzy in itself. We admitted we each had our trepidations.."where do we start? what will she be like? what will we talk about? will we have anything in common anymore?" we yakked though. like old times. bits and pieces fell into place to fill in the huge gaps. i missed that. This trip completely proved me wrong in my belief that life moved on when I left, and that I could never catch up. Who said anything about catching up? I could very happily walk in step with life as it is over there.

This trip also proved me wrong in that yes, I could see myself moving back. I miss life there. Life as I knew it, life that I was used to. I miss the itty bitty comforts like being able to find a bar of butterfingers in the supermarket (instead of people going "huh, what's that?"), to have normal internet packages (instead of paying through the nose for 40gbs a month), to be able to put my mail in my mailbox and know it will get delivered (instead of walking for 5 mins just to drop off mail at the communal mailboxes).. you know, the little things.

So anyway.. I had an awesome time, kudos to everyone I managed to meet up with for putting in the effort to actually make the meets happen. Sheer nostalgia, it was =)

With that in mind, you can imagine how awful it was to return to the bleak humdrum I currently call life here in Australia to face a week of relief before launching straight into a week of night shifts that cover specialties I especially suck at. The week off that I automatically get after a week of nights melted away as I battled a rather ...aggravating specimen of a solicitor and overly concerned parents (gee, what's new.) regarding a rather large purchase in the works.

Started my new term today on a wonderful wonderful note - I left home early because I wanted to be organized and ready to rock when 8.30am hit you know. I was so organized, I left both my pager and cell phone at home. go me. Let's just say I made it through today, inclusive of ward meetings I only knew about an hour prior to the meeting itself, in not too bad a shape.

One day down, a whole 10 more weeks to go. *sigh*

all warm and fuzzy

really guys, i couldn't have asked for anything more. thank you for remembering and thank you for taking the time to wish me anything at all! all those shout-outs on facebook, the surprise cake and guests, that annual phone call that i had totally forgotten about, another surprise cake in taiwan... thank you for making me feel that i mean something to someone out there =)

some of you may know my take on birthdays.. what's there to celebrate? it's not like people are dying young nowadays and hitting 30 is a huge feat.. well, maybe it is for some still. in my little bubble-padded world though, i take a darker spin on birthdays. if there's any celebrating to be done, i say that the poor mothers should be celebrated for having gone through the horrible process called childbirth.. and not only survived it, but survived living with the parasite-turned-new-life-form that they plopped out for the next however many odd years.

what's there to celebrate? either way you look at it, it's quite depressing. you're either one day closer to death, or you're one year older (complete with the wrinkles, the responsibilities and all else associated with growing up).

anyway, despite being of such opinions, i still turn into a pile of mush at the onslaught of well-wishes i get every year. really really.. from the bottom of my heart (yes, excuse the mush please), thank you for letting me into your life as a friend. =)

the gripe that died on the tip of my fingers

Oh wow, it's been nearly two months since I've last posted. Oh ho, what a rarity that she's been whinge-free for two months, you say! Unfortunately, it's been the exact opposite. Too many whinges, many of them lacking the oomph to stay with my long enough until I get home from work to warrant the effort to recount them in detail here. Instead, they festered and bubbled and eventually sank into the depths of my memory.

Am currently doing a week of night shifts. They have their perks - a week off (unpaid though, boo!) after a week of shifts. Being able to get errands done because for once, I'm free when the shops are open. That's about it.. the free breakfast voucher we get is great, except that the food choices are so limited and awful anyway that I've only been able to stomach packaged drinks that early in the morning. Even then, I've only claimed one voucher. Usually dying to get out of the hospital by then.

Not in the best of moods. Just got woken up by a fire alarm that I think is illegal in terms of the decibels it emits. Dug out my pair of yellow airplane earplugs, squished them in each ear and could still hear the alarm at a volume one could call normal.. like you know, the volume you set your tv or stereo to. It's gonna be a loooong night.

And then I chanced upon this article online. Take away some creative license and still... boo. the oomph has already dissipated. might let this gripe die this time around...

gotta get ready for work.

not quite what i had in mind

it's been nearly a month since my very last post
i've been just a tad busy these past few weeks
juggling work and sisters, sleep and fun
and amassed some memories that are for keeps

we'll start off with boot camp, the butterfly kind
run by a sisterhood, for a few local teens
a grueling affair, 'twas this four-day camp
filled with smiles and tears at narabeen's.

what a relief it was to find
i clicked with her, my little sis.
i'd never guess that i would cry
but tears rolled out 'cause of that little miss.



i also got my first brush with fame
for natalie and sis were the honored guests.
everyone both big and small
wanted in on the photofest!



the first day of work overlapped with camp,
it wasn't ideal but what could i do?
i managed to survive our orientation
and also made a new friend or two.

meanwhile at home, my fluff became bored
they cooked up some mischief whilst home alone
poor sleepybear bore the brunt of their jokes
they took off his shirt, antics i don't condone!




the weeks rolled by and before i knew,
'twas australia day weekend wit lots to do!
my cousin had arrived, fresh from taiwan
we went 'round the city but had no time for the zoo =(



i also found a bottle of pink grapefruit juice
one called ami with a quirky little twist
they took us for idiots with a pronunciation guide
ah-mee 'twas how to say it, meant friend 'twas the gist.



the weeks dragged on, and i was always at work
my homebound fluff, oh they rejoiced!
hours on end to wreck havoc to my place 0.o
lotsa plans and opinions to voice!





work itself wasn't too bad..
i was slowly easing into routine
patients to see and forms to fill
i think i might've appeared too keen

that initial enthusiasm slowly waned
especially after my first weekend shift
'twas a mayhem to cover the place
i left the hospital a wee bit miffed.

this past weekend was really crap
more patients to see, more forms to fill
a caesar to assist, a token to keep
ooh that baby's cost me a hefty bill!!



i had on scrubs and my brown suede boots
when they cut her tummy and i was told to push
i heaved and i shoved until the baby came out
with blood and fluid, and also some mush.

it all sprayed out and onto the floor
it covered my scrubs and drowned my feet
it turned the floor into abstract art
a bloody mess my eyes did meet.

remember my gripes about Oh and Gee?
i still stand by all that i've said
the specialty's full of leaky ladies,
and bloody ones stuck in bed!


speaking of blood, 'tis bloody ruddy red
the same color that is used on the 14th of feb
valentines' this year passed without my yearly gripe
no, my caustic sentiments, they have not ebbed.

a day of hearts and bouquets of roses
of extravagant dinners and expensive candy
or lonely singles left wandering the streets
great for sales, my ain't that handy!

'tis all a conspiracy, some may say..
concocted by hallmark as they insist
why declare one day when the others just are,
as special enough too, to warrant a kiss?

anyway, i shall leave you be
that's quite enough rhyming, even for me.

didn't even hit twenty-four

i was supposed to go here:



i'm here at the moment... for the term doing orthopedics:



it's been only two days, only 20 hours.. and i'm already counting down the hours til the weekend hits. really, it could have been worse. i'm lucky to have a good bunch of interns starting out with me, a decent registrar (who's mostly in the operating theaters anyway) and a good senior who's been out for 3 years. it helps that he wants to be an orthopod.

so yeah, my first 20 hours of work consisted of two medical emergencies, got chastised by the infectious diseases registrar, got the first complaint filed against me by the patient transport department for trying to organize an out-of-hospital CT scan at the request the specialist and got lectured by the radiographer to "not do this again. that is really unfair. you know that. to come in and want us to drop everything to scan your patient. that is not right." those last two things brought me pretty damn close to tears today, out of sheer frustration at the unfairness of it all.

as A pointed out, "you do you mean to tell me that some woman at the patient transport office is telling a doctor what test is best for a patient, or that she won't send the patient, despite a doctor's order, to another hospital for a better CT scan because she doesn't want to spend the hospital's money (the government's money)??"

*pissygrumble*

quick update

another quick update before i disappear into another puddle of oblivion. i can sense these things, you know. =)

came back from my 2-week vacation in one piece. survived the family and relatives. it was even enjoyable this time. no, this didn't include the car crash i was in. yes, everyone was alright though i can't say the same for the hunks of metal we were travelling in.

pictures to come, watch out for them on flickr.

joined life changing experiences as a Big Sister in their SISTER2sister program. supposed to be a mentor for girls aged 13 - 18. boot camp started on saturday. don't know whether to take it as a compliment or not - been mistaken many a times by both big sisters and little sisters for being a little sister at camp. hmm. it's supposed to last for four days, but unfortunately for me, it overlaps with my orientation at the hospital. hence, been running on near empty - boot camp itself is physically and emotionally exhausting. organizers have suggested taking days off from work if possible to recover from the camp. no can do =(

sooo... what i've been doing is driving back and forth between the campsite at Narabeen (never been to narabeen? nevah been!), home and the hospital. takes aroud an hour with no traffic, boo! daytime's spent in "doctor" mode.. or as well as i can get myself in that particular headspace from 8am to 5pm. then it's a mad dash home, shower, change into big sister mode so i can gather all the stuff i need for camp before driving down there, spend a couple of hours doing the night activities planned and then driving back here like cinderella hoping the clock doesn't chime midnight too soon.

good thing this is gonna last for one more day/night and then i can just concentrate on orientation instead of falling asleep. i mean, on a good day, my attention span only lasts for 20 minutes so you can imagine what it would've been like today.

random thought jump: the other interns were reaally really friendly. it's only been one day, so it's not like i made fast friends with anyone but everyone was nice enough to strike up a conversation or two throughout the day. they seemed piqued upon hearing that i was from newcastle. the accent presented itself as another conversation starter. all's good but won't count my chickens before they hatch. we'll see what tomorrow brings =) at the very least, i hope that more sleep is in the picture somewhere.

the update that turned into a rant

quick update.. i didn't fall off the face of the earth, though it may seem that way.

finally settled into new place in sydney. internet's finally back up and all's seemingly well after the moving fiasco. off til a few days after the new year. am at the internet terminal in hong kong at the moment waiting to board my flight to taiwan in a couple of hours.

the flight here was awesome. the cabin crew was awesome. well, mainly the air steward making all the announcements. he spewed some gems such as.. "here at virgin atlantic, we employ some of the best in the field. unfortunately for you, none of them are on this flight to serve you today." or "please be careful when opening the overhead compartments. contents may have moved during the flight and may drop out to hit your neighbor on the head." the best of them was "please remain seated until the fasten seatbelt light has gone off. on today's flight, we will be needing volunteers to stay back and clean the toilets for us. we will assume that those of you who stand up are volunteering." *beam* man, i like the guy. unlike the air stewardess that greeted me at the door when i was boarding the flight. she yabbered something in cantonese, waved in the general direction of my seat... all without establishing any eye contact. i moved along and got stuck in the galley between first and business class. i was distracted by the skybar they had in the first class section and had no idea where the hell my seat was, even though i knew it was seat 20k. grr.

and this continued throughout my stay here, though it'll amount to less than 24 hours in this place. every bloody person assumes that i understand cantonese. a friend suggested that i should walk around with a taiwanese flag sticker. i like that idea. i mean, c'mon. this isn't some seedy little shop in the middle of the city. this is a place where international travellers congretate and disperse again. you can't assume that every asian face you come across automatically belongs to a brain that recognizes cantonese!

oh, poo. you've gotten me started on my rant. let's go back to when i stepped off the bridge connecting the plane to the terminal last night. first thing i saw was this guy sitting in the driver's seat of one of those little airport buggy thingies with a printed, laminated sign announcing "HK$50 RIDE TO IMMIGRATION." wtf. i was like, oh man.. welcome to china. sorry, i'm kinda biased. seriously.

and then there's what seems to be the general lack of ability to give directions. i couldn't find the shuttle bus counter to the hotel. i called up the hotel. "i know i'm supposed to go to counter A16 or B16 for the shuttle bus. i've just arrived at the airport and can't find it. can you tell me how to get to your counter?" i asked.

"you go to counter A-one-six for the shuttle bus."

"yes, i know that. i can't find it. i'm behind the information counter/screen at the arrivals hall. how do i get to your counter?"

"it's at the arrivals hall. you will see it"

"i DON'T see it. how do i get to your counter?"

"hold on a minute, please"

so she transfers me to her colleague and we repeat the same exchange again. this time, i managed to clarify that i should be able to see the counter as i come out from customs so i backtracked and finally found the dinky thing.

and then today at the airport, i approached the information counter (where they have actual people rather than a touch screen this time) to ask where i could find internet access. the guy waved in the general direction and said "there's an internet cafe at the end" gee, thanks. the "internet cafe" turned out to be this stand of 3 monitors tucked away, literally in the corner of the bloody terminal. in order to use it, you had to buy something from the coffee shop, place a deposit so they'd give you an usb mouse that you can plug in to use the computer. bloody hell. at least the mocha brownie chillino i got wasn't too bad.

anyway, i hope this isn't gonna set the tone for when lu and i begin our gallivanting around this place at the beginning of the new year. in the meantime, imma start looking for a bloody big taiwanese flag sticker to wear when i come back here.

hope you all have a wonderful holiday season. stay outta trouble, have lotsa fun and see you next year =)

the gods must be crazy III

seriously, i hope there won't be a fourth installment of this post title.

so here it is. peruse at your leisure while i'm out at the back trying to find a brick wall to bang my head against.



my first reaction was - is this legal? inertia won out. after all that crap during med school where i've presented hard evidence to disprove whatever facts and statements they had thrown my way, i ended up with pyrrhic victories at best. i don't have time to wade through all that so hopefully, my application for a new place in the same complex will get approved.

i finally thought i could have enough stability and predictability in life to warrant some longer-short term planning. i've long since given up on long term planning unless they're the lifetime goals type. so much for the moo cards i've gotten printed off for you guys. they're prolly gonna arrive in your snail mailboxes with a sticker over the old address now, seeing that dumping them would kinda be a waste. *grumbles*

so yeah, if i'm not around as often as i once was.. well you'll know that i'm safe and sound but just busy gnashing my teeth as i sort out some semblance of stability for the upcoming year.

Happy Halloween!

It's that time of year again. By the ghost of the Great Pumpkin! Merlin's beard! I found a normal pumpkin to carve this year instead of having to resort to various gourds, eggplants, apples and eggs like some Halloweens of yesteryear. *beams* So here it is, a good 8- or 9-pounder =)


Be it trick or treat that strikes your fancy,
A costume party or something in between,
Whatever lights up your face like an all hallows' pumpkin,
May you have a happy Halloween =)