brisvegas adventures

apologies if the pictures take a while to load, especially for those of you in australia. our broadband is a third world joke

* * *

late thursday afternoon, it was
last minute plans and schedules abuzz

for some reason, it slipped our minds
closed check-in counters, we would find

thirty minutes before the flight
that's when we were supposed to alight

what to do, we stared with dropped jaws
next flight won't do, we suddenly paused

our eyes wandered around to other counters
as we hoped for better encounters

we had to forgo our jetstar seats
'twas virgin blue! we admitted defeat =(

so much for gloating 'bout our $50 tix
forked out $300 more to solve our fix



'twas the most awful feeling
hearts and brains still reeling

it physically hurt to part with the dough
a reminder of the seats we forgoed

to take our minds off the pain
we splurged on goodies to take on the plane

hazelnuts and almonds, coated in choc
bottles of juice, aye did we stock!



lucky for us, there was one last flight
or else we would've been stranded for the night

as we approached the departure gates
our bags were scanned as rules dictates

mine encountered trouble, but it was cleared
undergo an explosives test, anj volunteered

the seconds ticked past and we could finally board
when we saw our plane, we were both quite floored.



thank goodness it was, indeed the wrong plane
cramming us all in, that's a tad insane!

we turned and saw a much better view
one that contained a virgin blue



we arrived in brisbane, safe and sound
we saw the taxi line, then we frowned

phew, 'twas a quick drive into town
our hotel was easy one to track down

boarding the elevator upon checking in
getting to our floor threw my mind into a spin



we arrived at our floor and found room eight-oh-nine
'twas like this apartment, the one i call mine!



the bed and decor were all quite purdy
tho the bathroom had slime, what a pity.



the view from the balcony wasn't too bad
the city by night was kinda rad =)



our tummies rumbled, but since it was late
room service fries with aioli were what we ate

the course was awesome, exceeding expectations
it came complete with gastronomic temptations

we went though shock, anginas and drownings,
anaphylaxis and other stuff, astounding!

instead of working on that blasted letter,
we joined a night tour to know brisbane better.

but just before embarking on our trip
there's food and cash we had to equip!

so we found the mall, 'twas not a ten-minute walk!
but 'twasnt far enough to make us baulk

uh-oh, we went. look at the time!
we're gonna be late, our anxiety climbed

we managed to hail a cab passing by
stuck in traffic, we sat there and sighed

in the spirit of this trip so far
we had hailed the cabby that was a tad sub par

he had two left hands and two left feet
he didn't know our hotel's main street

we had enough, we were in a hurry
the lights were red, we left in a flurry

crossing the street in such a big rush
anj and death and a very near brush

'twas another cabby who was turning
cussed us out til our ears were burnin'

we didn't have time to care so much
we had a tour to catch and were late as such

reaching the lobby, a man we accosted
but we got the wrong man and away we fled

we finally found our tour guide name frank
he was the total opposite of that old crank

he took us all on his little bus
to see the sights he thought were a must




we cruised through paddington and past government house
and up mount coot-tha as quiet as a mouse

dinner was served, a tangle of noodles
not something i could eat oodles and oodles

we later headed down park road
which was the mini eiffel tower's foreign abode

a thai temple, we also passed
a pretty glow, did it cast



under some arches, the group jovially traipsed
oooh-ing and ahh-ing at the shadows and shapes



we hit south bank and later story bridge
we went river cruising, 'twas chilly as a fridge

that cruise was nearly the death of us
surprising how not more came to cuss

for frank had paraded us past the crowds
to the front of the line, we feared ka-pows!

we got off safe at mulberry park
in time to see the tottering girl in the dark

once again, we boarded our ride
city views and a mormon church, we eyed

14 million, it took to build
gold and marble, it was guild o.0



some time later, after chinatown
'twas when the tour began to wind down

we cruised passed fortitude valley
and meandered through some back alleys

all this while, there was this girl
annoying as hell, i could hurl

she wouldn't shut up, not since the ferry
she had a running commentary

we finally returned for a good night's rest
'twas our last night as this hotel's guests

we woke up to a beautiful day
wishing we'd planned a longer stay



the rest of the day passed without a glich
we caught the train without a hitch



arriving at the airport with too much spare time
they wouldn't check us in, not for a dime

so we sat around yakking about hair
anj yanked out my greys, i began to care

some hours later, after dinner and yak
of ecgs, hair and math attack

we were finally boarding our intended flight
can't wait to go home, the end was in sight!

a mere hour later, we landed in newie
we awaited our bags in the midst of chop suey

we made it back home, well before midnight
and greeted our homes with much delight

so that's the gist of the past few days
it could've been worse in so many ways

the gods must be crazy II

my tummy was a'rumbling
and the sky was turning dark
so i trudged to my kitchen
i was hungry as a shark

i sifted through the freezer
and then right through the fridge
i ended up cooking hot dogs
as long as brooklyn bridge

a couple of eggs then caught my eye
and signaled a scrambled egg crave.
things were bubbling merrily along
if only my tummy would behave!

i had made a mess on the kitchen top
and so i reached for 'em towels
the ones with my happy cows sprinkled 'round
and then i nearly swore in vowels

for my fingers had tapped, within the tube
something quite soft and furry
it took a while to register
i withdrew my hand in a hurry!

bewildered still, i dropped the roll
and as soon as i did,
this disgusting thing dropped out too
it plopped and fluttered and slid

EWWWWWWWW what the fuck!!
i silently screamed
too horrified and shocked
then, more profanities streamed.

ew ew ew, you frickin furry thing
ew ew ew, as i scrubbed my fingers clean
all thoughts of dinner were suddenly gone,
as my tummy lurched into my spleen.

hey, you.. yes you up there
you've had your fun with my parking space
so quit messin' with me, won't you please!
you'll soon turn me into a basketcase =(



crime scene and escaped felon

story of my life

so i went to get my keys this weekend and finalize the lease contract for the new place... pix of empty place soon, anj. or your could just make the trip down to see it in person with me one of these days =)

the lady at the rental office gave me all the bits and bobs needed and finally, directions to get to my parking spot that went something like this:

• car park ramp just around the corner - go down the ramp
  
• when you get in, turn left
• then turn right - drive all the way done (yes, she meant down)
• turn right again - go up ramp
• up ramp - turn right
• #719

goodness.. i thought it'd never end when she said she had better write down the directions. what is this, an obstacle course? was what went through my head. images of my driving test suddenly flashed through my mind.

this is what greeted me when the spot was spotted.





...
..
.

!@!?#


thank you for the snip, whoever's up there - that's not funny.
thank you, hG, for the snap and the company.

passionate inertia

passion. i used to chortle everytime the principal of my secondary school in singapore said it. she said it was one of her favorite words, that it should be in all our vocabularies, that we should all apply it liberally in all we do. mind you, i was 13 and wanting very much to fit into this odd sea of black-haired asians i was supposed to spend the next few years with. obviously, something about our principal struck their funny bone - it was a strange mixture of amusement, embarrassment and a tinge of respect that they held for her. i guess that was the start of becoming a sheep, although i always found myself straying close to gates and fences... or to the black sheep.

anyway, that's what i'm attributing to the lack of entries of late. a lack of passion. lack of passion towards anything really. nothing noteworthy to write about for my own amusement when i reread past entries. sometimes, that gets remedied by attempts at a ditty to summarize what's been happening. even that didn't evoke any twitches of either heart or brain. i think i've whinged more than my fair share about the idiots running the institutions i've had the honor of working with, or will work with. i think i'm just tired.

i'm finally done with med school but seem busier now than when i had classes. i didn't get the buzz most people have on their last day of school. yes, i'm grateful for having left a sort of hell that i've called life for the past 5 or so years but geez, i was practically on vacation for the last rotation of the degree. what an anti-climax.

i thought i would welcome the free time i have to do whatever i want, and still have the luxury of working on my papers willy nilly. i was even ambitious enough to ask for an orthopedic attachment for the next few months. lucky for me, the universe works in mysteriously awesome ways - it gave me the perfect excuse to back out without seeming flippant. being in no-man's land, neither the university of the hospital would be able to cover me insurance-wise should i encounter an accident during the attachment and hence, i couldn't undertake such an attachment. one of the rare times that being a stickler for the rules has actually worked in my favor.

now, these very assignments i've exuberantly taken on seem to have spiraled outta control. so much to do, so little time! papers to draft, papers to re-draft, professors to track down, housing to settle, movers to find, rental contracts to sort, isps to connect and disconnect to, cars to service, cars to clean, mail to check, addresses to change, conferences to attend, fanfic to read, books to read, med books to review, notes to rewrite, piano to tinkle before contract expires, friends to catch up with, trips and weddings to plan and attend... oh, and idiot drivers to curse. just last night, i ran into no less than 4 of them in the span of the 16-minute round trip journey to the hospital. yes, i digress. anyway, where does that leave the little necessities like eating, drinking and sleeping... and most of all, the need to soak in as much of newcastle as i can before i leave it?

sydney will be new and exciting, but it'll also mean starting all over again. as much as i need this change of scenery, i'm unamused about this whole pulling-out-the-roots business. "oh, it must be so exciting for you to have lived in all those countries!" people tend to gush. i can't understand how it would excite anyone when faced with the prospect of fashioning a new life for oneself every couple of years - losing touch with friends, habits, haunts, laughs. family is in there somewhere but after all these years, i'm used to ... well, not having them physically around.

apologies for being antisocial of late and for neglecting my usual rounds of blog strolling. i'm still stuck in the dungeons with inertia to keep me company. that, and the latest blasted fanfic link i clicked on. idiot child.

shite, has a little snaperism rubbed off on me? or maybe it was the pavlova. merlin's beard, i think i might go sick up now. *winks at anj*

be careful what you wish for..

a few months ago, i was still coming to grips with a vacation i didn't ask for, let alone want. i was stressing over what the hell i could do to fill in the time and make it worthwhile. now, i've been kept insanely busy for someone who is on a 3-day work week. besides the papers i need to write up and the exams i need to study for, i've been hit with a viral bug or two. frankly, i'm quite impressed at myself for being able to stave off any sort of flu-like illness after being in contact with coughing, spluttering, feverish and generally miserable people for 10 hours straight, three days at a time. yay me. i'b now duhking like dis cuz by dose is blocked and id's a horribuhl feeling. =( i'm ploughing through stacks of kleenex faster than hungry hungry hippos. everything seems to be happening all at once and suddenly, i feel like i'm running out of time. spring will already be upon us in another week's time - that's something i'll never get used to. september is supposed to herald autumn dammit. back to school and then the anticipation of halloween not long after, with thanksgiving feasts beckoning and a white christmas. urgh, now i've gotten myself sidetracked. something that's been happening more often of late... anyway, like i was saying, spring is almost upon us and in another month's time, i'll be househunting for a new pad in sydney. hopefully, i'll be all settled by mid-november and that's where the fun will begin when i start to decorate and customize! on one hand, i can't wait. on the other, i'd love to have a couple more months before the time to move rolls around. gotta be careful with what i wish for though - i'll be damned if i get faced with anymore academic hiccups to fulfill my wishful thinking of a few more months free.

paperweights and bloomin' tea

this is what i've been busy with. actually, it's been a week since the course and i'm still trying to recuperate from the onslaught of physiology. besides showing up for my general practice placement, i've been losing my head in the world of fan fiction. fanfic pertaining to the world of harry potter i might add. was never a mad, die hard fan of the series but that's not to say that i don't enjoy the read nevertheless. all i'm saying is that i don't understand what all the hype is about. blasted media frenzy. you want to be transported into magical worlds and lands of fantasy? roald dahl, people. or what about c.s.lewis.. before the blasted movie. or the fanfic authors, though it's rare to chance upon one with a decent command of english grammar, let alone english literature. don't get me started on all those people who interchange there and their at will, or the ones who spell rein as reign. really. if you're gonna misspell it, one would think rain would be a more common homophonic replacement eh?

so with that to occupy me and the occasional thorns of poor english bug me, it's been hard to make myself fall into any sort of normal routine or to pay attention to priorities. i get too carried away in alternate universes until the wee hours of the morning and then drag myself to bed bleary-eyed. i wake up as the sun's about to set.. well ok, i'm exaggerating but i really wish i could wake up a lot earlier. it's just really easy to laze in bed when you know that you don't have any appointments to get to. i have hardly touched a psychiatry book in the past 2 months, have yet to put together my powerpoint presentation as an assessment item, my bedroom is a pigsty (though i finally got off my butt to clean the living room and kitchen.. but that's because i had company for tea last night you see) and well.. despite finding stuff to do to fill in the time, i feel just as lost as before. the only difference would be that now i'm stressed and lost. stressed at the shocking speed that time seems to be moving at. lost because.. well, it's the same ol' story so i shan't bore you with that. that being said, i'm glad to feel busy again. busy is good. busy keeps the mind occupied. busy will do for now =)

thoroughly psyched

my psych rotation was an interesting one and i loved the people i worked with. the amount of effort going into end-of-term thank you cards is usually proportional to level of attachment i have to them. although i didn't have much time to whip up the cards, the fact that i used my precious shrinky dink paper and got out the watercolors is indicative of how much i liked the psychs =) was even a tad sad on the last day at not being able to know the outcome of our inpatients' admission. i surprised even myself that i cared that much o.0

now, it's onto my general practice attachment. two days immersed with an awesome gp in a room so cold that polar bears could call it home... couple that with a steady stream of coughing, spluttering, feverish, miserable patients... my poor immune system was overwhelmed =(

despite having moved onto a new rotation, i think i'm still suffering from a psych hangover. a patient of ours came in just last week with a bunch of angry red lines across his back. he was requesting morphine of course. i'm not quite there yet but i gave myself another surprise when i woke up with an ouch. toddled over to the mirror in that half awake state and freaked myself out with what i saw. it was a very wtf?! moment. if i was superstitious, or had this happened a few weeks ago on that friday the thirteenth, i could have probably convinced myself that i had an unsolicited visit from some dark sinister thing. the next thing that popped into my head was a mental picture of me with baby gloves on. and one of those frilly baby bonnet things. with the one-piece pajama suits. a straightjacket momentarily flickered, superimposing itself in the already ridiculous mental image. seriously, who the hell scratches themselves like this? impressive scratches, i must admit but just a tad disconcerting that i did this subconsciously. it still hurts in that stinging sorta way, implying that they're not as superficial as i first thought. makes me wonder what other things i do... or have done whilst asleep o.0 i've gone mental =( they say there's a first for everything - this is one i could do without.

trickling along

aches and pains are all i feel
get a massage, what's the big deal?
my bones, indeed they creak and groan
what a worry, i'm no old crone =(

there's something else bothering me
it seems be a thing i can't see
stressing less with what lies ahead
hasn't done much to lift that dread.

oodles of thoughts and feelings
trapped under my big glass ceiling.
my mind and heart, i cannot peg
which came first, chicken or the egg?

an answer i've yet to find,
it's hard to think with a sick mind
not the perverted kind, mind you
an ailing one, one that can't spew.

plans to make and things to do,
facebook brought a surprise or two
yet i seem unable to budge
no flecks of joy from choc'late fudge

the road ahead, i can't see
it all remains fuzzy to me
plain winter blues, or something more?
summer will tell us, that's for sure.

'til this season's come and gone
the curtains will remain all drawn
i'll trickle along, seeking zen
until they open once again.

a complex complex

before i start my babble, pics from taiwan and singapore are at my flickr.

just let me babble. i'm not looking for words of comfort or anything. the thought of physically talking this through with a meatspace friend makes me sick. writing it down's the next best thing and hopefully, the more times i go through the mess in my head, the more sense i can make of it. let me be and trust that i'll sort this through in my own way and in my own time.

psychiatry really messes up one's mind... or maybe it was because i've somehow ended up with a mind that was more susceptible to psychiatric influences, hmmm. whatever the case may be, i've done one week of psych and i already feel like one of my patients. mind you, psych diagnoses are subjective because if you really think about it, nobody's normal per se. how can anyone really define the limits of normal? if such limits were placed, let's say on intelligence.. then genius and idiots are both abnormal and hence need psychiatric help?

my mood of late could be described as depressed. my affect resides in the vicinity of flat. i get teary sometimes for no apparent reason... sometimes as soon as i open my mouth to talk to someone. one'd think that i would've been ecstatic to see old friends whilst in singapore. don't get me wrong, i was glad to see them but there was no familiar lub-dub i would've had during prior visits. it's this fear of raising expectations to find disappointment later on i think. thank you, med school. thank you for teaching me to aim low.

my appearance is decent i guess.. i'm not stepping outta the house disheveled yet but behavior may be described as largely normal save bursts of impulsiveness - was bored, was cold and impulsively went out to splurge over a hundred bucks on a heater for the living room. before that, i planned my trip so i'd get back less than 24hrs before first day of rotation. i never never do things like this.. i always exercise caution and leave myself at least a weekend to recover from a major trip or event. this time, i thought to hell with it.

thought content and processes are normal, but then again.. what exactly is normal? insight's present and judgement is intact, i suppose. you'll have to tell me otherwise. appetite's there.. increased if anything. sleep's fine - i still sleep like a log. suicidality is minimal with fleeting thoughts of "i could so easily cut myself with this knife. i wonder what it would feel like to slit a wrist" while chopping up veggies or something but they disappear as soon as they materialize in my mind. ever since the starting date issue, i've been feeling down, staring into a bleak latter half of the year. nothing seems worth doing and feelings of worthlessness pay a visit now and then. all in all though, i'm far from dsm-iv criteria for depression of any sort though i'm curious to see if taking an antidepressant will make any difference.

while in both taiwan and singapore, people have been asking if i ever get lonely living alone in an apartment better suited for a family rather than a lone person, in a foreign country away from family. i tell them i enjoy my own personal space. i like coming home to my fluffy rug and to the large expanse of a living room, to be greeted by panoramic views of the hills and the ocean beyond. i don't necessarily need to surround myself with roommates or comany all the time to get by. what i do want is to belong. i want to belong, to find my niche and some sort of stability along with it. i want to belong at school, at work and most of all, in lfe because right now, i don't know where the hell i'm at.