pittance

after nearly 15 years of being stuck in burma, of being away from his family and life as we all know.. my dad's going to retire at the end of the month. in return for setting up the company branch and infrastructure there, for personally training every single expat sent over to work there and taking the time to know his local employees... all he gets in return are regressing social skills in dealing with everyone who doesn't live in burma and a salary bonus worth 4 months of his normal monthly pay as a gesture for his retirement.

that's what you get when u mix family with business sometimes. stingy brother-in-laws who buy their only son the latest nokia phone at his primary school graduation but can't find it in his heart to give my dad something more for the work he's put in over the past fifteen years. all the work that is now in this particular brother-in-law's name now that my dad's retired.

seriously dude. my mom was obviously really affected by it from how she sounded on the phone. she feels guilty but that's a whole other story in itself. she called up with that dejected half-amused "what else is new" tone of voice to ask me to guess what my dad was getting from the company.. well from her own brother.. for retirement. really, to hell with family. blood's no thicker than water in this case. karma will get him one day or another.

i know it's not nice to air dirty laundry in public. doesn't stop me from doing it anyway because it totally baffles me. i mean, doesn't family mean anything? obviously not if money's involved, even if it's nothing comparable to hollywood or tycoon figures. figures. ok, so family aside.. employee loyalty then. dude, the guy gave up his family to help you set up your current little kingdom of happiness. he spent fifteen years doing it while you were playing golf and learning the finer points of tea-drinking. that's my dad you're talking about! four months' worth of bonus salary? what kind of math is that? ok.. so again giving you the benefit of the doubt that you suck at math, what the hell happened to your heart and this whole season of giving thing? *shakes head* dear uncle, may you be eternally cursed with gastroenteritis. oh, and merry christmas to you too. 

tis the season

... to be snotty! falalalala-lalalala.

Aemii the red-nosed chicken
never had a shiny nose
and if you ever saw her,
you would say it aint no rose.

None of the other chickens
used to laugh or call her names
until she woke up feverish
Wasn't full of fun and games

Then one misty Monday morn,
She decided 'Nuff!
Off to Woolies for Lemsip
and to top up tissue fluff.

Then she felt a bit better
But now her nose is ruddy red
And it's a li'l bit stingy
She should crawl right back to bed!

ka*ching

you know that some things change over the years to take you by surprise when you next rediscover them. nobody told me that the cost of living was one of them. been furniture hunting and apartment stocking for the past five days. atrocious i tell you. three planks of wood stuck together to make an upside-down U as a table sells for at least AU$140. they go up to $700 for purdy sturdy wood stained dark chocolate brown. madness!!

all was going well until i came to the curtains. the landlord absolutely refuses to install curtains. his reason was that he had to take care of the 15 other units he owns in the building. ok. so it was up to me to find some curtains. two different quotes both averaged 1.5k ... dude!! one and a half grand for flaps of cloth! *sigh* there has to be a cheaper alternative...

haven't even gotten to the phone connected yet, let alone internet. that alone'll be three hundred bucks for a new line that i'm going to get the landlord to pay for. or try to.. *drums fingers*

on a better note.. but still on the topic of moolah ~ i started my shopping spree for charity. managed to sneak in a skateboard in the budget too =D annnd... my digital piano and rental appliances arrived today! appliances weren't ideal ~ well the fridge is too small for the space and i got individual washer/dryer units rather than the LG all in one washer/dryer i had originally wanted to rent. bummer for not being employed ~ they can't rent me brand new appliances. hmph. anyway, here's my haul ~ dropping it off next week!

get back in pandora's box

i can't decide whether it's the lack of information or pollution from the immediate environment that's the problem. mebbe a bit of both. that whole child's play concept, donating to the kiddie ward... i ran that by my mom. after all, it's their moolah i'm about to go on a shopping spree on. man, i should've written down the order of how i was gonna pitch the whole thing. you could hear her go quiet as soon as she heard the word "online" as i was trying to explain what child's play was about. not even a nanosecond was spared. as soon as i finished with how dstore.com.au had their own wishlist for two aussie hospitals so people could buy donations online, she was like "these online people can be scammers" *faints* i hadn't even gotten to the point of it all yet and that it had nothing to do with online shopping!

it took a lot of self control to stop a tirade of frustrated nagging from being unleashed. admitedly, she has no idea what dstore is. she who opens all sorts of attachments and then promptly trashes all emails from people she doesn't know after i tell her attachments need to be filtered for viruses. bottom line is that she doesn't trust any online transactions.. well anything electronic for that matter. "they install code grabbers at the atm you know... they have hidden cameras and mirrors to pick up your pin number at the atm you know... they can duplicate your credit card you know... don't give out your birthday, they can steal your identity with that you know... destroy your bank statements, they could steal your bank account with that you know... don't give out any personal info over the phone, they may not be who they say they are you know... " and the paranoia never ends. dude, there's this thing called common sense you could use, you know. *sigh*

everything seems to be a scam through her eyes but i also get that. there are way too many scams in taiwan but then again, there are way too many naive people to con. sadly, i lump my parents in that group. it's embarrassing sometimes when my mom cuts salespeople short of their schpiel at the point of being a rude bitch because she's already got it in her head that it's a scam. other times, she gets suckered into the most ridiculous things.. like buying me a mini-iron that's safe enough to use on a person when one is wearing the particular piece of clothing needing to be de-wrinkled. wtf. no way am i gonna let her come at me with some miracle iron and plonk it on the shirt i was wearing like she did a few months back.. i yelled bloody murder.

*shakes head* she's a walking talking (basket)case of underexposure and a trapped shopaholic screaming to be unleashed... my dad just shakes his head and still refuses to trust anything online after you've spent the past hour explaining all the security features implemented and how the site is legal and clean... and my parents wonder why i don't tell them everything.

hurry up, tomorrow!

sitting alone here in my messy room does funny things to oneself. i got the green light today from both the year 4 and 5 year managers and the prof himself with regards to the exam board meeting this morning. "you've passed comfortably in all components and wasn't even discussed at the meeting. congratulations!" was what the prof said over the phone. finally. despite this, i'm still meeting him after results are officially released to see what went right this time around and why it took me so long to do so. i wanna know why i wasted nearly a whole year on the bloody subject, dammit.

so anyway.. still awaiting news on my application for the apartment. fingers crossed for that still. can't wait to start the shopping and the decorating! can't wait to start calling up the various utilities and compare broadband prices between companies. joy oh joy alright. something else i can't wait for may sound completely crazy but it's something i just feel like doing. something in line with the christmas spirit. at first, i wanted to get kaleidoscope involved with this toy drive stemming from child's play but i think i may have to stash the plans until next christmas. time's not on my side with this one. thought of doing something similar for the kids in the kiddie wards who will be there on christmas eve and christmas day by myself but i don't know what i'm dealing with and if it'd be really weird to approach M about it, or if he was the right person to approach in the first place. so then there's the salvo's christmas appeal that i thought would be fun. i mean, money aside.. how fun would it be to go on a shopping spree with a fixed amount of dollars at toys r us! never mind that i won't be playing with any of the things i buy, but still... it's all the more sweet to imagine the smiles the knick knacks will hopefully bring to some kiddie this christmas. i was gonna donate money and stuff, but if imma be spending the same amount of dollars.. why not have fun at the same time instead of merely sending in a check or clicking a donate button online? i need to make some phone calls tomorrow to see which plan would work and how... *rubs hands in glee*

i haven't completely lost the plot, have i?
and if i haven't.. would anyone like to go on my shopping spree with me?

stagnant

this is gonna be one of those entries that don't make sense and i'm trying to work out my thoughts as i type. you've been warned.

i wouldn't have expected to find myself feeling that a weekend was too long to get through. it's sunday afternoon and what am i doing? sitting here in my mess of a room watching episodes of grey's anatomy season 3. i would've expected to have a grand ol' time with a quiet afternoon to go through an entire season of grey's ... or to start from season 1 but strangely enough, i already feel sick after watching 3 episodes in a row. i mean, it could be the lack of food. haven't eaten anything all day and couldn't even manage to finish a box of arnott's premier chunky triple chocolate cookies. that would usually be devoured within the hour or two. i'm not hungry tho. there's an emptiness somewhere here *points to somewhere under my sternum* it kinda hurts in dull non-specific sorta way. i don't know why =( i'm such a cristina in that regards.

the ordeal seems to be over. i was told to go relax this weekend, that i should be fine but to call the prof back after the exam board officializes the results on tuesday. i should be relieved, no? i should be out there celebrating but i think it's been a pyrrhic victory. yes, i consolidated way more obgyn knowledge than i could ever have imagined, or wanted to. i finally got around to putting away all the notes and scribbles i've made these past 9 weeks at 3am in the morning just because there was nothing else to do. i didn't feel like cleaning up the rest of my room and i didn't feel tired or sleepy. most of all, there was nothing to do on sunday. my usual timesinks aren't appealing ~ ebay, thinkgeek, random flash games and mmorpgs. kinda screams geek, i know. i prefer the term nerdette. half the time, i end up having a shopping cart full of knick knacks and then closing the page but even window shopping online's not enough to make this blandness go away.

ever since the obgyn saga began with the release of results back in june, i've been trying to diagnose myself with depression but i don't fulfill all the official criteria. i can't even squeeze into the depressive disorder category. i merely get random days or a few moments here and there where things take a turn for the worse. tears get dried, something else needs to get done and all's well until the next time something hits too close to home or i come across another trigger. maybe this is the drama queen in me checking in.. i just don't feel as happy as i think i'm supposed to. instead, i've learnt not only oodles of obgyn but to also distrust people until i see it with my own eyes.. or until i crash and burn. like i said.. a donut of a victory.

and now, summer break's begun. all i want to do is to find a new place so i can start packing up and moving. i don't know why i'm in such a rush. there's a place i really want to see, but the broker's been a bit of a ditz. hasn't called back when she promised and the works. thought to give her some time and didn't call on friday like i was dying to. tenant's vacating premises tomorrow so i thought monday wasn't too unreasonable to call instead. i can't wait for monday. that's all i'm thinkin about now, especially after surveying the market and paraphernalia required for equipping a new pad with A yesterday.

i hate inactivity. i hate having nothing to do. i don't noe if i like being busy and run off my feet for the adrenaline rush and endorphins or if it's my way of running away from something i haven't quite yet figured out. lectures usually bore me ~ i sit there with nothing to do and by the time 20 mins is up, so is my attention span. 20 minutes is my max, as very unprofessionally measured since junior high days at buckley. i've got proof in the back cover of my spanish text as i scribbled down "20 mins more!! =(" to a friend at the time. i'm usually falling asleep by then if i'm not shoving my mouth full of twix bars and gummy snakes.

*sigh* seems like i'm never happy with what i've got eh?