The Perfect Patient (as would only exist in the land of Mary Poppins)
Wanted: a patient for one adorable doctor
If you want to be my patient
Have a cheery disposition
No nonsense, amaze!
Complies, all days.
You must be good, you must be with it
Proactive and smile a wee bit
Have some common sense, time will tell
Listen, don't yell
Never be coy or linger
Never you point or wag your finger
Respect me as your treating doctor
And never show me all that's under
If you won't scold and dominate me
I will never give you cause to hate me
I won't add more movicol
So you will poot
Put blood in your bed
Or needles in your boot
Ay El Double Ee.