the gods must be crazy II

my tummy was a'rumbling
and the sky was turning dark
so i trudged to my kitchen
i was hungry as a shark

i sifted through the freezer
and then right through the fridge
i ended up cooking hot dogs
as long as brooklyn bridge

a couple of eggs then caught my eye
and signaled a scrambled egg crave.
things were bubbling merrily along
if only my tummy would behave!

i had made a mess on the kitchen top
and so i reached for 'em towels
the ones with my happy cows sprinkled 'round
and then i nearly swore in vowels

for my fingers had tapped, within the tube
something quite soft and furry
it took a while to register
i withdrew my hand in a hurry!

bewildered still, i dropped the roll
and as soon as i did,
this disgusting thing dropped out too
it plopped and fluttered and slid

EWWWWWWWW what the fuck!!
i silently screamed
too horrified and shocked
then, more profanities streamed.

ew ew ew, you frickin furry thing
ew ew ew, as i scrubbed my fingers clean
all thoughts of dinner were suddenly gone,
as my tummy lurched into my spleen.

hey, you.. yes you up there
you've had your fun with my parking space
so quit messin' with me, won't you please!
you'll soon turn me into a basketcase =(

crime scene and escaped felon

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