11.19.2006

because imma bratty only child...

this is for all those times i couldn't come up with an example of why i get so frustrated when i have an interrogation conversation with my dad. how do you break the news to someone that you're no longer five fricking years old and you no longer are daddy's girl?

i know it's mean but for my own sake, i need to document it down so i can refer back to this later and recall how frustrated i get when i talk to him. it'll also be a reminder of what a bitch i was and act as fuel for future regrets of not spending enough time with him or not taking the time to sort things thru.

anyway. so, he calls up... "helloo ay-mee!" he says in the same singsong voice he greeted my 6 year old cousin with when he walked outta the arrival gates at the airport. wtf.
*grumbles a hi*
"so how's the studying going? do you feel like you've prepared much better than last time? more time to consolidate and understand things this time around?"
"no" i flatly say somewhere between his barrage of questions.
meanwhile, he's still continuing on from "...this time around? yes righ- ...huh?? no?? you don't feel more prepared than last time??"
"no."

and he leaves it at that and begins to ask me what i have for breakfast. "it varies" i say. "well you need to eat warm stuff for breakfast you know. things like oatmeal is good. do you eat oatmeal?" "no" "you have to eat breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day!" "i noooooooeeeeeeeee" i'm gnashing my teeth at this point.

"so has your mom called you?" he continues, either ignoring my irate tone of voice or completely oblivious to it..
"ya"

forgive me for getting on my soapbox that's resting on my high horse. i hate pointless questions. i really don't care who's asking them. could be the dalai lama for all i care but i'll still maintain that pointless questions are a waste of breath. what good was that question about if my mom called or not? what, is he gonna call up my mom to chastise her for not calling me if i had said no? and when i said yes, what was he gonna do... call up my mom and acknowledge she called? will she get a congrats for doing so? if any of you could see the point in that question besides fishing for stuff to say and prolonging the torture, do point it out to me. i seem to have missed the point.

i mean seriously. it's bad enough he's answering his own questions. it's worse when he assumes answers on my behalf. yes, it's mean but i give a flat out monosyllable "no" for the shock value and to close any door leading to any further conversation. really. i don't want to talk to someone who's got the convo all planned out in their head and merrily assumes my answers until they're halted in mid-delusion because they didn't hear what they expected to hear.

*sigh* couldn't help myself. had to gripe. thank goodness for this rant-sponge. if anyone has any ideas or counsellors to recommend for bettering a father-daughter relationship that's as murky as the one i'm in.. i'm imploring you in all earnestness to please drop me a line.

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