10.01.2006

another episode in the quarter-life saga

optimistically assuming that i'll be living til a hundred, this year of twenty-five has definitely been one full of mini quarter-life crises. excuse the pessimist in me in saying that i can't wait for the snowballing of them all into one huge avalanche just before i turn twenty-six.

came across the timeframe of a pediatric surgeon's training today that really pushed all the panic buttons in my head, even the ones i didn't know existed. the guy graduated from med school in 1987 and he just became a consultant two years ago. 1987!! i was in first grade in 1987. his journey had been relatively hitch-free and it still took him nearly 20 years to reach the beginning of his career. the world revolves around me of course.. so naturally, i transcribed his timeframe onto my own. i'll be just beginning my career in about 20 years' time, give and take a few years. should be about right if you throw in plans for a future family with a kid or two and allow some time off for burnout and sabbaticals. so, twenty years. shite.

according to my mom, im twenty-five by western calendars. means im twenty-six by the traditional chinese lunar calendar, but then there's new years' that passed and that adds another year too. she concludes that i'm twenty-seven which approximates to thirty so therefore, i'm about thirty this year. my reaction to her zany brand of logic is another tale in itself... so anyway, if we go by her logic that i'm about thirty years old.. then i'll be a consultant at fifty. 0.0 fifty!

some may argue that fifty year olds aren't old at all but then i think of my parents' age. they've eased into their fifties with a grown up kid to show for it. transcribed in my timeline, does this mean i'm going to have to wait til my future kid's out in the workforce to fully qualify myself? goodness. twenty more years! sigh.

things seem to be better, mood's less dreary with a hint of extra pressure. m-land definitely lived up to my expectations of being my runaway hideout. that being said, i think this sense of calm is partly due to a combination of being in the state of denial and being swamped with work. not a bad thing =)

No comments: