5.04.2006

half a jubilee

ever grappled with alternating feelings of warm fuzzies and emptiness, flipping from one to the other and then back again at an epilepsy-inducing rate? unexpected greetings from unexpected places abounded. i used to be clueless when it came to receiving any sort of attention... in a way, i still am but i've learnt to just say thank you and try to enjoy it while it lasts. refuting compliments and well wishes sometimes backfired when a flippant remark is thrown out with nary a chance to be processed and people sometimes got hurt. how unfair is that, to wish someone well and then be insulted in the same breath? yeah, i was a bratty little kid and in some ways, i still am =P

heartfelt thanks for taking the time to remember. no offence to those who may be older than me, but like i whinged about at the rbj forums, i find this whole "moving out of the age bracket" business a tad depressing. i've been dragging my feet, going as slow as possible this time. this is worse than the 19-onto-20 year where i couldn't count myself as a teen anymore. i was trippin' over my age for months afterwards but this is worse. i can't even associate myself with the teens anymore.. no more 18 - 24 to choose on sign-up forms. now i'm lumped in with the 32 year olds, no offence to those who already are there.

the surprises started yesterday actually... well they started a week ago when my mom called with bdae wishes. i was very confused... apparently, it was my bdae according to the lunar calendar. rightio. yesterday, i got crowned. o.0 talk about having a good public relations department.. or is that just proof that the crowne plaza newcastle is rolling in the dough? one doesn't receive bottles of wine in the mail from hotels every day...

then came the stream of phone calls ~ whoa! *beams* i got my yearly phone call from cali and a happy surprise in the form of an msn msg from another part of cali =) one shouldn't start expecting things unless they've been declared a tradition i suppose, but it's nice to have something to look foward to at the same time. lol, no pressure now... =P seriously tho, i can't wait to graduate and part of the reason is to be financially independent. that, in my world... that translates to personal freedom that'll allow me to fly back to the states for a lot of catching up from east coast to west =)

because there's half a handful of friends left in newcastle and because i insisted on having a quiet one this year, a twinge of self pity snuck a visit after the flood of calls and unexpected deliveries ceased. on the other hand, despite the lack of your physical presence, you guys are making me choke up... i love the prezzies and i love the shout-outs! gan'en for putting that invisible tiara on my head today, the one that only you and i could see. gan'en for especially caring, for turning what i had set out to make depressing and miserable into something heartwarmingly cozy.

gan'en =)

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