that's about all i'm able to do at this point. as usual, i'll be posting a recount of my long case below for those interested to sift thru the medical waffle.
exuberant. deliriously happy shocked. that's me right here and now!
"shit." was the first thing out of my mouth about 20mins ago as i stepped out from my long case and saw the door close. decisions were going to be made in that room. my fate laid in the hands of the 2 examiners. a curtain of absolute dread crashed down.. i felt claustrophobic, like when my mosquito net fell down on me when i was little and how the more i struggled, the more i entangled myself. sorta like a straightjacket i suppose.
at that point in time, everything was drowned out. i vaguely remember mel telling me i'll be fine, how she liked my top and how her voice kinda trailed off. i vaguely remember noticing the other exam coordinator looking taken aback at my swearing but didn't really care about the impression i was making
i had enough time to process all this, to turn my back to that forbidding door of gaudy mint green when i catch mel's gaze drift past me. what could've happened in there?! there was only about a half minute difference in time between when the door closed behind me and opened again! "shit" went my brain, realizing that the examiners had already finished discussing me. thoughts of those judges on the iron chef whizzed past, dissecting each dish except in this case, i was the dish.
i ready to be devoured alive, excruciatingly torn apart bit by bit as i slowly made my way back into the room. bring it on! tell me i was disjointed. tell me i need to work on my knowledge. ask me if i've even seen a patient before this. is that the best you can do?? i had a full-fledged wwf round happening in that parallel universe my mind escape to and was frankly quite flabbergasted to be interrupted halfway as doc bisits' voice cut in. "we were very happy with you. *smile* you obviously have the knowledge, you must've studied really hard for this.. and the only thing we felt that you lacked comes with clinical experience. you passed. *doc shah smiles as i look over at him in utter confusion, grappling with that last bit* any questions?"
i was dumb enough to say no when he asked if i had studied hard for this. "you mean yes, right?" he interjected. urm. yah, that. i paused after being given the chance to ask questions and was yet again saved by "no questions right? you're scared we might change our mind?"
man, were they in a good mood this morning. thank goodness! so all in all, i guess things went swimmingly well this morning =)
people in cars next to me must've thought i was a loony with a smile 2 sizes too large plastered across my face. i can't help feeling oodles of warm appreciative fuzzies. thank you guys for all the shouts of good luck and all the best, all the msgs of concern and encouragement from friends new and old alike. this... this. for all you out there who say they can't live without a significant other... try to understand that for some of us, we're completely content with this version of cloud 9. we're happy with oodles of fuzziness from friends from moments like this. stop trying to set us up!