3.05.2006

big sister is watching

my old friend, procrastination, knocked on my door for a late night chat. we ended up wandering over to my webby, replete with cobwebs and furballs and started the spring cleaning. in the midst of all the dust, we stumbled upon a visitor at the "ask aemii" section, one who piqued both our interests.

the following footprints were left and it was only common courtesy to reply when one has been spoken to, so here were my two replies. thought the first one was too longwinded on a short span of hindsight ~

curious to uncover the faceless, nameless entity behind the question and armed only with a lone IP address much akin to homer's buttprint on his sofa, i rummaged around my statcounter logs to unearth this treasure. so my visitor's a local eh? *taken aback* i was expecting a complete stranger with nothing better to do, but the question now carried a bit more weight coming from an hunter ISP... namely one by soul pattinson telecommunication.


a few moments of introspection flitted by, followed by a few fingers of insecurity creeping up at the back. i don't think i'm self centered. having a blog doesn't equate to self centered. my johari window tells me i aint.. are my friends just being nice then? *bashes thoughts into the ground with a hammer* that's when angry amy woke up seething. "who are you to judge me for being self-centered? you haven't even visited my blog yet - u spend 58 seconds on my main site, bypassed all other pages but the main and have the gall to label me as being self-centered?! would've given you more credit had u stumbled across this blog before coming to that conclusion." she spluttered and hissed.

little kids grow up with happily ever after endings where the prince always slays the dragon and the princess always gets rescued.f even as adults, some of us (well, me actually) still hang onto that glimmer of hope that the world's not as big and scary as everyone says it is, that cynicism is overrated and there remains a grain of good in everyone despite how things may seem. "well kiddo, i'm sorry to burst your bubble." my old friend, procrastination told me. it was still hanging around.

i've always prided myself at being able to handle criticism well but i suppose one tends to harbor slightly distorted perceptions seeing things from this angle. obviously, i wasn't as good as i thought. this not-so-distant stranger struck enough raw nerves to warrant a rant from me (go you!!) but i'm not rattled enough to break down in tears (please slap me if i ever become that insecure, anyone..)

anyway, the storm has passed and the winds have died down. all that's left is the quiet rustling of the leaves outside as the first rays of sun play hide-and-seek between the dark scary shadows of the night as aemii tucks herself in between mr snuffles and sleepyhead. reassured that big sister is always watching, she drifts away with a smile on her fluffy chariot of rainbows seeking happier horizons.

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