he said, she said

she's never had a boyfriend before, he said.
don't don't don't don't don't hurt her, she said.
he knew better than to do that.

a few weeks, a few months pass..

i need to tell you something, he told her.
a thousand thoughts flew threw her mind.
i crossed the line. she was the one i crossed it with, he said.
a niggly feeling grew into hurt, a heavy feeling refused to stop crushing her heart.


tee & kay

christmas greetings to you! my prezzie this year is...

tee and kay. jap kids. tee is 6 and kay is 8. tee is 32kg and kay is 25kg. uber cute. more of their visit later ~ all be revealed once i hit ozzie shores =)

(yes, they really look like that. really!)


singapore fling

  • a sense of familiarity mixed with a tingle of exotic flavor.
  • dilute the concoction with a generous helping of muggy humid stifling hot hot hot weather
  • a dash of improptu
  • a pinch of excitement
  • a fully charged digicam and phone
  • five helpings of reminiscence

swirl and enjoy and then imbibe with gusto!

a whirlwind of a trip, i must say! much much gratitude to those that i managed to meet up with ~ thank you for taking the time out to keep me company =)


auld lang syne

in another 6 hours, i'll be on my sleepy way towards sydney on a door to door airport shuttle bus.
in another 12 hours, i'll be getting ready to check in at the singapore airlines counter
in another 15 hours, i'll be boarding the plane bound for singapore
in another 24 hours, i'll be touching down at changi airport

and thus ends my time in australia for 2005 and heralds the entrance into a totally different world where shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops are disdainly stared at and immaculate grooming is a given. a world where girls doll up in short skirts and tiny tops, don on the mascara and paint on a mask of natural looking gunk just to go out and meet their girl friends. a world where prepubescent guys hang around certain shopping centers to oogle at equally prepubescent girls in ghastly matronly garbs afterschool.

the only saving grace in this new world would be old friends. ones that will sit and reminisce the goofy and the sad alike. ones that will stay back that extra hour just to walk around town with me the night before i left the country. ones that will insult me with the best of intentions. ones that make sure i know i'm loved.

i haven't seen some of these people for 5 years or more. to suddenly be thrust into their presence again is quite unnerving. it's like meeting a blind date. will we click like old times or am i just being daft by living in the past? will i even be able to recognize some of them? what will they think of me? what will i think of them?

in 2 more days, i'll find out =)
in 5 more days, everything will be all over and i'll enter yet another new world.. one where formalities dictate. one where i have to play the role of the demure little girl. not that they don't already know that's far from the truth. they've seen my explosive bouts of tantrums. one's even threatened to throw me out of the house... twice. welcome home, amy.. welcome home.

i'm not back yet and it's already started.
she calls using skype. i hear his voice in the background.
are your tickets and passport packed? are you sure? you better recheck. (yes they're packed. THEY'RE PACKED.)
*sigh* you're not a kid anymore you know (no shit. you were the one who started the nagging anyway)
what are u going to bring on the plane? (my backpack.)
when are u leaving? can you make it in time? (...)
do you need a wake up call? are you sure? (yes. dammit, im not a kid)
is your room cleaned? oh, almost eh.. well ok. (...)
ehh buy some eucalyptus lotion when you get to the airport. (what if i can't find any.. doh)
what will you be wearing on the plane - pants or a long skirt? (JEANS. geez. why do u ask? as if it matters)
what. the. fuck?!

...happy christmas and a merry new year to you too. whatta way to end the year... i didn't mean for my last post of the year to turn into a gripe-fest but *shrug* that's how things turned out.

assume i won't be blogging whilst in taiwan, not under that roof...
cheers ~

here's a sneak peek at my yeti army *beams*
happy holidays everyone. be safe, be good and for those so inclined, mebbe just a tad naughty. santa's lenient *winks*


winding down

or winding up. hmm...
it's been a whirlwind of a two weeks since exams finished. my 6th sense may be coming back! i felt better about my pediatrics paper and i thought i could scrape through my o&g paper but the OSCE stations left a very very bitter taste and a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. results were released a few days ago and whaddya know! gut feelings are back in action... i passed my pediatrics paper. that was a huge relief. i seriously thought i failed both subjects. i didn't pass my o&g paper but oddly enough, i was really nonchalant.

maybe because i was expecting it. i met with the prof this morning to go over my paper. he was extremely nice but oh-so-stern. i didn't even feel the urge to fight for my pass this time around. i was just happy to hear that i passed my writtens. that was a miracle in itself, i must say. to be told that i wasn't the worst one in the bunch further boosted my ego irrespective of the fact that i failed the subject. *scratches head*

glum was what i expected my mood to be. i suppose that even the grey rainy skies today couldn't dampen my spirits. after all, i know that i passed the writtens. 8/12 and 7/10 for them ok..! and it's not like i didn't pass my OSCEs... i just didn't do well enough for the prof to pick me as his intern. each station was graded as 0, 1 or 2. 0 is an outright fail of course. 2 is a better pass than 1 but both were technically passes... in everyone else's books but the prof's. me with my exam nerves (i can't believe i said herpes instead of HPV throughout one station. didn't even realize til he told me today) and bad exam karma managed to get a 1 for all of the 6 stations. the prof didn't like that very much so i'm gonna hafta redo the whole thing again next year. perfect. i lose my 3 month holiday but at least it doesn't postpone my graduation! wheee ~

to top it all off, i checked my snail mail today and i beamed all the way home.for all you patch adams fans, here's his pagey. i got the chance to see the real deal last year when he stopped over in gosford to give a small talk. his hair's half blue.. like he dyed it with blueberry koolaid! hee =) we got a sneak peek at this video and i was hooked. this was what came in the mail ~ i got your package em!! thank you sooooo much =) i'm ready for my bawl-fest soon too hehe. saving it for the 'rents ~ might also prove a nice distraction for when i go back next week, just so my dad doesn't harp on what's happened this semester, academically.

guess what else came in the mail today?

it was so cute i wanted a copy for myself but but but tis the season for giving so this adorable book's going to hopefully bring some smiles to C & S and their new baby boy when i go visit them in a few days =)

other goodies include this trio of herbs in a can.. i ordered it months ago for myself and yet again, in accordance with the spirit of giving, it's gonna go to S as her x'mas prezzie this year. didn't mean for it to turn out that way but i think she'd enjoy them more than i would.. at least they'd have a better chance of surviving under her care than under mine. must i remind you that you're looking at someone who manages to kill cacti and bamboo alike.

and last but not least, the sweetheart cup & saucer set i got for my mom arrived. she's a heart freak.. arghh. stars for me any day! hearts are so... cliche >.< but but i hafta admit that these cups look pretty cute all filled up, no?

as for myself, i went and bought abernathy's surgical secrets and lange's surgery on call. how sad. even the guy at the bookstore took a jab at me, asking if this was meant to be holiday reading... hmph. i'm just really excited about starting the new semester next year, that's all. excited might not be the right word.. i just want to finish asap and get my degree so i can figure out the rest of my life in peace.

despite my suitcase starting to fill up, there's still lots more prezzies to scout around for, lots more ideas to snatch. winding down and winding up.... nah, i'm just getting started! =)


the other side of the pacific

lotsa lotsa lotsa bdaes!! *throws confetti in the air*

happy belated bdaes to both buzzy and fe's little bro, E and happy bdae to em and pooj & ram! bdae toasts all around =)

was visiting em's bloggie and well. hmm. boys.. *tears hair out* boys are evil, did anyone ever tell you that? *huggies for fellow spinsters* hee! found her link about asian american women and that age old dilemma of going out with another asian guy or a white guy interesting.

What is the advantage we are thought to enjoy? That we scorn our own men and are, therefore, desperately seeking white men which in turn makes us eager to please and therefore appealing to white men. How unspeakably vile is that? What self-respecting woman of any race would want to live with that kind of image?
- nadine park brookston

well actually, more than interesting. i don't know if it's something inherent or if there's something in every asian kid's upbringing that encourages this, but i hafta admit that when i dream of a prince charming with a blurry face, i've always instinctively assumed that he would be asian. i wish someone could translate it properly in chinese so that my mom could read it. just to say "seeee?!" and tell her to hang up her own preconceived prejudices... not that i'd go for a white guy now anyway tho. i don't know, it's not that i have anything against non-asians... i just haven't met any that's swept me off my feet. and then there's the language barrier with my parents and certain cultural barriers that are bound to arise. there's always gonna be some sorta hitch with anyone, but i guess it's just some inborn assumption on my part that there's bound to be more with a non-asian. that being said...

wanted to marry an Asian man, but I wasn't willing to transform myself from an American into someone of an alien nationality.

that being also said, i haven't met many asians that have swept me off my feet either.

On those occasions when I spotted an attractive Asian man and worked up the nerve to strike up a conversation, he typically showed conditional interest, then drifted away. That happened again and again.

d'oh! amen to that! that woman strikes more than a measly little chord in this heart!

i'm glad to see that fishie is doing pretty well in that department tho. it's about time dude!! no more swimming alone for u! *beams* hee (sorry, i came across the fish smiley and just absolutely had to force it in the paragraph somewhere. it's so cutee!)
i hope you don't see the ending either =)


connecting, with strings

so many connections started happening after exams ended. they were horrible, i might add. especially the obs/gyn paper. 5+ hours of exams without a break - no food, no water (i thought i'd be tough and ditch my choc nibblies. bad idea!) in freezing rooms and colder examiners... only to finish and have someone decide to drain all the swimming pools up there in the sky. cold, tired, hungry and feeling very sick. what a way to exams. i guess i had it pretty good tho. my friend was so strung up she puked that morning and went thru all i did with only 3 hours of intermittent sleep. poor girlie =(

i've scribbled out a bunch of random musings and thoughts. apologies if i lose you halfway...

connection #1: PSANZ is the conference that i might be speaking at assuming the abstract gets accepted (now he tells me it's not an auto-acceptance thing after he got me all excited!), tho the webby's last year's program. one's never contented with what one has eh.. last year's webby looks a lot classier than this year's webby but i guess neither help. i'm just as confused about the whole point of the conference as before. lotsa doctors to meet, hopefully lotsa pediatricians who are interested in students' wellfare and such so i can bug them about my future plans and specialization.

connection #2: friends mean the world to be and although some may argue that i pick them up like m&ms scattered on the floor, just remember that not all m&ms are created equal =P when i was a kid, i used to love the green ones. they'd always be the last to go.. the brown ones would be gobbled up first. nowadays, it's the blue ones that are the last to go. sometimes, i feel gloomy and bask in the presence of the red, orange and yellow m&ms to cheer up and it becomes their turn to be the last to go. to be able to go back and save one green m&m for last isn't a bad feeling. neither is revisiting that odd speckled one in the shrek edition. to remember the feelings from days of yore and reconnect again ~ mmmhmm. absolutely delicious =)

connection #3: new friends! think of them like umm... jolly ranchers! a different variety of candy, but candy nevertheless. they come in lotsa interesting colors and flavors and they start to grow on you. especially if you find something in common with them. to be able to connect with someone, who in essence is a complete stranger, isn't such a bad feeling either =)

connection #4: the misconnection. the one that had its microwave signals disrupted by the thunderstorm as it travelled back to its base receiver miles away. this one isn't so good and i'm working on enhancing the signal but man, is it hard. familiarity breeds contempt they say. how i wish it wasn't true. i tell myself that he's trying really hard because he cares, so i shouldn't blow my top and be rude. it's awfully hard to and i feel miserable for snapping.. right after i curtly reply my daddy on the phone. bleah. i need a daddy-relationship counsellor =(


another couple of strings around my finger to add to the others...

string #8: no matter how mad you get, never resort to violence and slap your colleague. especially not with a bloody glove in the middle of surgery. it might not be a good idea to retaliate either.. aiyaiyai people!

string #9: just because someone is a doctor doesn't make them automatically right. same goes for teachers. learn to question, learn to believe in yourself yet learn to keep that ego the same size. hard stuff! all the more i do respect those consultants who manage to acheive sucha balance.

string #10: work on remembering people's names. it makes a world of difference and the patients like you a whole lot better when u know that they aren't auntie may from the other side of town. it also gets you brownie points in examinations where you have demented examiners.. trust me, i just met one on tuesday.