11.25.2005

bobbing for hearts

ever tried bobbing for apples? it's all fun as you wait there, lining up for your turn as you laugh and goad the people in front of you along. and then you suddenly find yourself facing that tub of water. so many apples! you think to yourself. surely it can't be that hard. let me show them how to bob you tell yourself. *wiggles jaws* aiming for a random apple, you open ur mouth as big as u can with all your teeth bared. ur whole field of vision flashes red, with sparkles in various corners as the water splashes all over you and you find yourself in an underwater world.. chortling because water went up your nose. u straighten up, stare back at that tub of apples happily bobbing along as if oblivious to their impending doom... and u doggedly go back for more water going up your nose.

the past week's been like that. ups and downs, like those apples. stuff that made my heart sink as it tried to take a bite, only to let go and send my heart bobbing back up to the surface. and then down again it'd go.. sometimes, it'd be a slight tap. the heart'll wobble and float still.. other times, it's a jarring shove that sends the heart right down to the bottom of the tub, only to make me catch my breath again as the heart surges back to the surface to get ready for the next dunking.

today, i had one of those surges. one that didn't take my breath away and hurt as the heart came up for air. this one was a happy bob. sorta like doing a cannonball and coming up exhilarated. came home to find a little email happily bobbing in my inbox that informed me of two things ~ i'm getting offered the chance to present the paper at a conference in april next year and assuming that it goes well, i'm assuming that i'm going to have a paper published in my name (among others of course!) by next year hopefully in some journal. *legs turn to jelly* i was so speechless.. i didnt expect my supervisor to offer me the chance to present it. all i did was collate his data for him. now he wants me to write it up and present! i'm so honored, stoked and um.. half thinking it's all a dream at the same time.

tis a great motivational boost to bury my nose in my books. how bad would it look now if i didn't pass my pediatrics exam? "hi this is amy. she's one of my students in 4th yr last year. she's currently redoing 4th year again but hey, she's gonna be presenting this paper to u all. please welcome her with a round of applause" uh, no thanks.

*buries nose in books again... and recoils in horror at the oily blotches i've previously made* hee

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