think of the Count from sesame street.
we will count to three today, cheeeldrrrren.
one idiot.. muahahaha!
black beemer. doesn't know how to drive. two lane street. beemer on left lane, oversized trailer on right lane. trailer sees upcoming traffic light with 2 cars at a standstill, waiting to turn right. trailer signals to change lanes 50m from the stationary cars. our good samaritan beemer brakes. to a stop. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRICKING ROAD to let the trailer in. i slam on my brakes and stop about a meter behind the offending black butt of that beemer. my bag flies from the front seat. i grab. im left with a bleeding pinky from the zipper. [insert appropriate string of curses that will last for the rest of the 10 min drive back home]
two idiots... muahahaha!
now you'd think that nothing else could happen in the span of that 10 min drive. ok, so not really with how this is being retold... so idiot number two takes the form of a pearl sea green toyota previa aka tarago in australia. he sees me coming from a block away because he actually had the vantage point to do so. yet, he decides to creep into the traffic as i'm about 20m from his intersection, me going straight. ok. so i see that coming, i was already braking when i saw him inch. so i travel behind him for another 50m. cross the intersection. ok.. he flips on his blinkers to turn right. thank you for the ample warning! i braked happily. that soon turned into another string of unmentionables when the sea green whale crawled to a complete stop before turning. once again, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRIGGING ROAD not 20m from the traffic light. mind you, there was no oncoming traffic so i wasn't expecting the complete stop. of course, i had to slam the brakes. this time, i had a car behind me. we were buzzing along at 60kph. to slam on the brakes at that speed and close proximity... lets say that the dude behind me wasn't happy either. and then i got even maddder because im like "great, now the dude behind me will think that i'm the idiot" ... and you know i hate being forced into situations beyond my control. i hate being the scrapegoat.
threeee idiots... muahahahaa!
nah. there wasn't a third.. wait a sec. yes there was. about 500m later, idiot #3 materialized in the form of a shiny metallic blue astra. it didn't seem to know how to drive with no lane markings. it hovered in between 2 lanes before deciding to stay on the left shoulder. it should've turned left. that's when it prolly realized and said no! i wanna go straight! so it hovers in between the lanes again. i'm giving it death stares by this point. it decides on the left lane again. (it'll never learn) only to find that a bus has stopped at a designated bus stop ahead. it stays in the left lane. until about 10m before it would've stopped behind the bus. THEN the shiny blue monster decides to float over to my lane. brakes. slam. insert line of unmentionables again, 20m from the dorm.
one, two, three! muahhahaa!